HAPPYFISHZ

HAPPYFISHZ;

快乐鱼

JingJie
19 // Athletics
Faith. Focus. Finish

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Sunday, 8 February 2015

❛ Bullying ❜

This post is dedicated to all those whom I have caused hurt in any way. Whether isit physically or emotionally, I deeply regret the things I have done or said. What has happened has already happened and I know a ''sorry'' would not be able to compensate for the pain you have felt. I sincerely apologize and I just wanna say if I could turn back time, I definitely would not do the same thing again.

The definition of a bully is a blustering, quarrelsome, overbearing person who habitually badgers and intimidates smaller or weaker people. In short, bullies are people who picks on someone weaker or smaller.

I used to be a bully in school, not the big type of bully though. Bullying comes in many forms. I was someone who made mean and rude comments about my classmates/ schoolmates. There were also incidents where I would use someone's phone to text people and say stupid things. There's actually quite a number of incidents that I can't really remember. One thing I can remember is that I actually enjoyed doing it because I could see them in agony. I was only scared and regretted what I did when the victim starts crying. I was afraid and regretted not because I knew I was wrong and sorry but because I was afraid the teachers would know about it and I would be in huge trouble. Most of the time, I didn't get caught for what I did. I didn't feel much for people then.
In 2012, Amanda Todd, a 15 year old female from Canada committed suicide because she was bullied and physically assaulted. She's just one of the many who committed suicide due to bullying. I think its really scary how someone would rather end their life than stay alive and go through hell. After the incident, it kinda hit me but I guess it didn't change me much. At times, I still bullied people in a tiny way.

Change came when I attended Church. It didn't come overnight though, it took some time. Right there, I am constantly loved by the people and more importantly, I felt the love of God. It really soften my heart and I started to see things and people in a very different way. I started feeling more for others and I'm able to put myself in their shoes. Right now, I may not be the most loving person but I'm definitely becoming better and better slowly. Christ is working in me.

I've changed and I'm becoming better but there's a struggle I'm actually facing. Every single time I see someone I used to make mean comments about or the things I did to them, I just feel super guilty. I can't bring myself to face them. I feel so embarrassed of myself. The thought of the things I said was just disgusting and I'm just super disappointed in myself.
Today (8 FEB) is a day where I happen to see someone whom I bullied previously. At an unexpected place though, in Church. My heart kinda sank because I was afraid that she would have thoughts like, '' This type of person also comes to Church?'

After much thoughts and feeling real sorry. I decided to apologize ( through FB even though we were meters away). Not brave enough but I'm glad I overcame this. Many more to come.

I'm so glad I did it. I feel so much better.

Bullying hurts and the pain is unimaginable.
In the current world, bullying still happens. It still happens in school, at work, everywhere. If you've been bullying someone just so you'll feel better, it's time to stop because it makes no sense to make someone feel lousy. If you're someone who has been bullied/ is currently bullied, please seek help and please do not end your life because there are people who loves you. I promise you.
Many of us who are reading this are just passerby. Let's not be a passerby, lets be bold and stand for the weak.