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HAPPYFISHZ;
快乐鱼
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JingJie 19 // Athletics Faith. Focus. Finish |
Awesomest | November 2012December 2012January 2013February 2013June 2013August 2013September 2013February 2014May 2014August 2014February 2015March 2015June 2015August 2015January 2016February 2016March 2016July 2016September 2016July 2018 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Sunday, 24 January 2016
❛ The end of an exhilarating journey. Now what? ❜
Hello, it's been so long since I actually have time to actually sit down to think and write. I'm so glad to be writing this today. I'm also feeling excited to share about the past 7 months where I've learnt and grown so much as a person. Some of you will know that I blogged about stopping track in June 2015 but I didn't stop. I looked back at the past 2-3 years and I realize I've been going through quite a number of injuries and if this is how I'm gonna end it, I just felt like it isn't a good way to end it. I wanted to give my best shot and end it on a high. At that point of time, I've already left my running club and I was without a coach. I decided to join my school's long distance coach, Adrian Tan. Yes, I'm a sprinter but I train with the long distance team. That's because I've been coached by him before and I really love how he communicates with his athletes. So on the 22nd of June, I started my comeback with a 400m time trial. I remember clocking a 58s and I was disappointed but I expected that so yeap. I had only 5 months to go and my aim was only to be part of the 4x400m team. I thought it might be impossible so at one point I even tried out long jump and triple jump training but I quit trying after 2-3 trainings. I realized running is my thing and I'm gonna work my ass off for that spot. Instead of having the usual 3 trainings per week, I increased my training to 5 times a week. Putting in extra gym work to get the power and strength back.
Throughout July, I was training and training and it was always about me. It felt quite purposeless and I wanted this journey to be something more meaningful. I wanted to show that no injuries would stop me from continuing and achieving. I wanted to show that with hardwork, dedication and sacrifice, I can achieve. That was something that kept me going.
By the end of July, I had improved quite a bit but I was so tired trying to juggle both school and trainings. I was telling one of my friend how tired I was and I received this. Encouraged me so much. So so much. 
''Heading off to Kallang for training now. Gonna be training with a
slight fever, flu and sore throat. Terrible feeling but I'm gonna do it because
I'll be doing my first hurdles training?? I only get to do it once every week
so ya. As an athlete and soon to be coach, I shoudn't be doing this but...
sometimes we just gotta do something different. To be honest, I wouldnt even be
here in the past. I used to run for myself. This time round its different.''
I was not doing it for myself anymore. It is for God. It is for those who believed in me.
But you know, as much as I tried to hang on, I was so tired that I was struggling to clock the required timings / complete the trainings. On the 1st of September, I wanted to give my myself 3-4 days of full rest. However, I was training around 4 times a week at that point and I would feel uneasy not training. Guess what I did, I went to train my flexibility by attempting splits and I injured my hamstring in the process.
On the 23rd of September, I received the news that they'll be holding a 400m time trial in a week time and it will determine if I make it or not and the biggest problem was that I'm injured and I've not trained consistently for the past 2 weeks. I was afraid but I never stopped believing. ''Believing is enough. It's all about the heart. With the right heart, I can overcome anything and everything. Not alone but with God. Time to get it going. '' A day or two before the time trial, I was psychologically affected due to many things happening in my life but I was so thankful that God answered my prayers and allowed me to focus on the time trial. Timing wasn't fantastic but I was eligible for all the events. From that day on, my spot was kinda confirmed and I was finally on my way to POLITE.
What encouraged me a lot during that week was an instagram post by my friend.
One of the best memory I had with her was running 600m x 3 together, I was pacing her and it was so fun to watch her suffer during training. jk Hebrews 12:1 '' Therefore since we are surrounded by such great cloud of witnessess...'' The run felt great because I feel like I'm being reminded, I'm not alone in this physical race but also the spiritual race. I remember her telling me, '' Whenever God closes a door, he has greater things in store for you! Jiayou in your pursuit of His kingdom and your rewards are definitely waiting for you in Heaven!! :-) Jy jingjie!!'' She probably commented the most ''jiayou'' on my instagram. Always encouraged by the comments and I remember her telling me,'' its just 2 words. '' My reply was, '' Well then you need to know 2 words can make a huge difference. 2 words can make a difference between failure or success. Every word makes a difference and I really appreciate you always commenting, encouraging and supporting. I'm really thankful to have a buddy like you. '' Really eh, every word we encourage can actually make a whole lot of difference. I think her face deserves to be here. So here it is. 
Ok moving on. The month of October was one that was filled with lots of uncertainty. I was still injured and I had 2 races on the 25th of October. It was a period of time where I needed a miracle.
Even though I was injured, I was super excited to race because there's 3 national athletes in the startlist. I see that as a privilege. Sadly, 2 of them didn't turn up. Oh well, an unexpected thing happened from InterClub2015. My first ever hurdles race and I went home with a bronze and 100bucks.
It was amazing being able to win a medal from just the first race but with a medal, it simply means higher expectations from everyone. Many people actually started telling me, '' POLITE gold medal ah? Can one. '' I hated pressure and I was quite affected by all the pressure because I felt like I needed to perform well for everyone. I didn't want to disappoint. The pressure was building up so much and I spoke to my friend about it. 
As POLITE came, there wasn't just pressure from people. At some point of time, I realized I was actually putting pressure on myself too. I actually had thoughts of winning the gold. The pressure affected me and I didn't feel happy even when I was training. Sometimes, we're constantly chasing and running, we forget why we started it. For me, it was about being happy and enjoying moment. I kept telling and reminding myself to enjoy the process, no pressure.
 With all the pressure around, I went out and enjoyed myself. I even went home with a gold medal. ''This one is for everyone who stood by me, supported me and encouraged me. The past few months have been pretty tough, but the support has been amazing. Really thank you everyone!!! Also this victory is for the late Zaki Sapari (on the red shirt), National Junior Record holder for the 400m Hurdles. The last time an athlete from RP won the 400m Hurdles was back in 2011 and yeap Zaki was the one. You inspire me, thank you so much. "If you whack, you will die. If you don't whack, you still die. So just whack. As long as I give me best, I'm satisfied. " - Zaki Sapari''
I did mention I
was running this race for a few people? Zaki is one of them.So happy I'm able
to share this victory on the podium with him/ for him.
Really thankful to be given an opportunity to run. Back in June, all I wanted to do was to be part of the 4x400m team. I ended up running the 400m (7th), 400mH (1st), 4x400m (2nd). I've never imagined this happening, wow. All these are not just because I worked hard, I'm pretty sure this is a God given talent.
Even with the great result, I wasn't exactly happy with what I'm doing. Yes results in terms of results are great. Honestly, I won the gold with a little bit of luck. My race execution , hurdling and momentum were all pretty bad. As for the 4x400m, I ran a bad timing and the reason why we have the silver is because the team carried me. Someone asked me, '' Is it because you have high expectations for yourself?''Both yes and no. I expect myself to run a better race. I don't mind missing out on a medal or coming in last if I give my best and I ran well. The issue is I won but it wasn't my best and it could have been better. Moving on to IVP, training was pretty messed up but there was also less expectations from everyone because we're all racing with the big boys. I wasn't even thinking about others that much because I was facing so much difficulty clearing hurdles during training. I constantly failed to clear the hurdles for all the training. It was so frustrating, I felt like kicking and breaking every single hurdle I see. It was so frustrating but looking back now, I overcame it right? :) A day before the race : '' Confidence isn't high due to all the little setbacks. Well, it doesn't matter right. When I'm on the startline tomorrow, its a new race and I'm gonna go in with a new attitude and a brand new confidence. Most importantly, I'm going to enjoy the race and enjoy the moment :) To God be the glory.''
400m Hurdles!!! 1st in my timed final. 4th overall.
Finished off IVP2016 with a silver in the 4x400m relay.   Broke my PB in the 400mH by a massive 0.86s but yeah it wasn't my best too. But it doesn't matter anymore because I'm done for now. Looking back the past 7 months, I really enjoyed the time spent on and off the track. There were more struggles than victories but I enjoyed it. I have learnt and I have broke through both on and off track. Don't wanna talk much about my races because it can all be found on @heartofrunning. My journey can be found there and you'll be able to see my joy, struggles and how I overcame all of it. Don't wanna talk about all of it in this blogpost because that's not my motive for writing this post.  Typed this on the 24th of August. At the end of the journey, I asked myself. '' Did I manage to inspire others?''
Personally, I feel I do inspire others. I hope I do ok HAHA. I received more messages from people telling me about it so I guess I do. We'll have to look further to see if I really do inspire others so yeap.
'' Have I accomplished my goal?'' My goal was pretty simple, to run the 4x400m for POLITE. I have achieved more than that and I'm so extremely thankful.
''One thing that I'm thankful for/ one thing that has brought me the greatest joy.''
The people and the relationships here. Medals are great but no one remembers my victory in a few years time. The relationships formed throughout the past 7 months will continue to last. Being able to inspire and encourage people feels great too. The memories formed will stay with me forever. I'm really thankful for this amazing bunch of people who always brought so much joy and laughter. Joining you guys was a great decision. Thank you so much. '' What have I learnt from the past 7 months? '' More than just developing physical and technical skills, I have learnt life lessons. Lessons that cannot be taught but learnt through experience. Character and capacity have grown to a new level. Actually, words are not even able to describe what it has taught me. It's just something you can put it into your own life. If anyone has the opportunity to walk this path that I took, please do. You'll take away many valuable lessons. Anyway, some of my friends have been asking me some questions and I thought it would be great to get some of my friends to ask me too. Here’s the questions. 1.How/ Why did you start track?
When I was in primary 6, I ran my 1.6km
pretty well so my PE teacher told me to DSA to VS. That was the first time I kinda believed I
could do well in a sport. Unfortunately, I missed the deadline for it. As I
moved on into Secondary school. There was only 2 CCAs i was interested in,
track & NCC. Obviously, I picked track and that's how I got started.
2.What made you fall in love with track?
/ Where did you get the passion from?
For the first few months in track, I was
fooling around. After 2 of my friends left track , I got serious about it. I
ran my first race (400m) after only 4 months in track and I clocked 63s. I
walked/jogged the last 10m because I didn't know where was the finish line
HAHAH. The lactic got into me. Yeap my coach was so proud and happy of my
timing. I guess I fell in love after that race.
3.What do you like most about being in
track?
I like the feeling of being able to run
fast. I love the speed and the pain from lactic. Honestly, I cant really
answer this question. I just really like the feeling where I feel like I'm
cutting through the air fast and efficient?
4.What motivates you to train ¾ times
per week? / What keeps you going? / How do you stay motivated in running?
It's not so much about motivation.
Motivation to constantly improve, to feel faster and be faster got me
started. It's discipline that got me going and going.
Some days, I just wanna stay in and sleep/ go home instead but I still get up and train. Simply because I remember my dreams and goals.
'' Let your dreams be bigger than your fears, your actions louder than your words, and you faith stronger than your feelings. ''
5.Why do u still continue track even
after suffering from injuries so many times because of track?
I've sustained different injuries since
sec 2. I never had the thought of quitting just because of injuries. I always
feel that injuries are just setback for a comeback. Injuries is just a
launching pad for a greater breakthrough. I was down but never out. I'm built
to last. Without all the injuries, I wouldn't have learnt and grown so much
also.
6.What makes you train so hard?
With a goal in mind and
having the discipline to keep it going.
7.What’s your most memorable race?
400m CBoys Final. Going into the race
with an injury and tearing moments before the race was tough but I finished
4th, pretty unexpected. One of the best season I had.
8.Was there ever a regret in any race?
If yes, why? If no, why not? / Biggest regret in track.
I don't really have a regret in track. I
always let experiences and decisions be something I can learn from and not
something I regret. For e.g, at the recent 400mH race, my target was to clock
below 60s. I clocked 60.12s because I slowed down the last 3 steps, thinking I
manage to do so. Regrets? Nah, I learn that we really gotta give our best till
we cross the line.
9.Why do you do hurdles instead of
sprinting?
I'm actually doing both sprints and
hurdles. Started out hurdles just to try it out but i was technically
quite good so I focused more on hurdles.
10.How do you balance between studies
and track?
I'm probably one of the last person you
should ask. I'm actually not doing well when it comes to balancing both. But
what I find it hard, I just think of what and how my inspiration does it. It
inspires me to hang on and be versatile to whatever that comes my way.
Well, I'm not exactly quitting. I'll
still be running to keep my fitness level there. It just wont be my priority
anymore because I feel I've been called for a greater purpose.
13.What are your plans in track?
For now, I'll be running whenever I have
the time to do so. You'll never know what the future holds. One day, I'll be
coaching and to give back to the sport that has built and grown me.
Maybe in 16 years, I'll represent Singapore in the masters? HAHAH so old. Please come and support me.
14.How do you feel like after your last
race, especially when now definitely there's people trying to convince you to
not give it up.
Yeap, there's a few people who are telling me to stay and run for one more year. Well, one year may sound like a short time but in this short time, there's many other things I can do? I don't really know how I feel. I'm just very thankful for everything that has happened in the past 7 months. I definitely wish I can have the best of both world but time and sleep is already something I struggle with. To add in more commitments and to juggle it? Almost impossible.
15 .I know you say you wanna give up for
God. Is there any part of unwillingness in u now? Especially you're doing well now.
I'm doing well. Indeed, I'm doing pretty well. I'm actually at my best form ever. I'm a stronger athlete than before and I'm picking up form. To give up now, I feel its a waste but if I'm to think back. I wouldn't even have started this journey if at the beginning God did not speak to me about laying it down. I guess it's all kind linked and planned. I personally feel I've accomplished quite a lot and I've inspired whoever I can. I'm done here and it's time to go.
16. How far do you think you will
continue track life (quite competitively) if God didn't asked you to stop?
Very very very far. I'm only into my 5th year into the sport, there's still much to work on and improve on. I always see myself competing till 28-30 years old so yeap.
18. 1 verse
that keep you going in track and now out of track, what's that verse that will
keep you going to run for your vision/ your greater significance.
Deuteronomy 31:6 '' Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.''
This verse encouraged and spoke to me because it was very frustrating to be injured. Confidence was low at times and sometimes it's hard to trust my own abilities but this verse just shows that God is with me and it makes a whole lot of difference.
2 Timothy 4:7
''I have
fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.''
The physical race and the spiritual one is very similar. Just like the physical one where there are setbacks and valleys. The spiritual one is the same. I wanna use what I learn from the physical and put it into the spiritual one. Hanging on and fighting till the end.
19.what are
your plans in life?
How about plans for the next few months? 3 more weeks of school, I just wanna finish well and I can't wait to start internship. I guess its gonna be pretty fun interacting and coaching kids :)
20. What's one thing that you'd change in your life after being in track all these years?
There are some days where we have bad trainings. However, I always tell myself to forget about it and to focus on what's ahead of me. One thing I really wanna change is to do the same in life. I wanna forget about the struggle and pain in life and just focus on whats ahead.
21. What are
your plans after giving up track?
I don't have a specific plan yet because I just ended last week? My plan is simply to do more in the CG/Church. As for now, I honestly need to get proper rest before I start on something new.
22. Are you
gonna substitute track with a new sport to keep you going or?
I'll still be running ( not as often ) because I actually signed up for a 21km fun run which will be happening in April so I gotta run to stay fit. Yeap definitely gonna be running to keep me going. But if i get to choose a new sport, I would pick diving/ gymnastics/ canoeing. I personally feel if I have an opportunity to take part in these sports, I'll learn something new too. However, I'm quite certain no other sports will mean as much to me.
23. Will you lose yourself if you don't continue track?
Yeah I guess so. To totally walk away from something that means so much to me, it's gonna hurt. To walk away from something that has taught me so much and has given me so many memories, it's tough. To walk away from something that I do so often, I'll definitely lose myself. I definitely will.
I'm so thankful my sport is a sport that can happen anywhere and anytime. I can simply run anywhere. Water sports like canoeing is much tougher though. They have to get the boats etc and they cant really pick the timings. Well, I'll lose myself if I dont which is why I'll still be in the scene :) Before I end of, I just wanna be clear to whoever that is reading. I am stopping competitive training. Which simply means, I'll be training less and trainings will not be my priority any more. I'll still be training whenever I have the time.
Everything has to come to an end. The past 7 months has been amazing. I came and I conquered. I definitely did not walk this journey alone. God and a bunch of amazing friends was always with me. Thank you friends! :)
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© COPYRIGHT Ernest Lim |
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