HAPPYFISHZ

HAPPYFISHZ; 快乐鱼



JingJie 19 // Athletics Faith. Focus. Finish	Awesomest	November 2012 December 2012 January 2013 February 2013 June 2013 August 2013 September 2013 February 2014 May 2014 August 2014 February 2015 March 2015 June 2015 August 2015 January 2016 February 2016 March 2016 July 2016 September 2016 July 2018

Monday, 25 July 2016 ❛ Make a difference? ❜ This is week 15 of my internship here in Bedok View. It has been an amazing time here, there's so much joy every single day but more importantly, what have I learnt and what can be better? I'll share some of my thoughts about the past 15 weeks. It's gonna be like a reflection so I can make the last few weeks the the best. On 21st March 2016, I stepped back into BV as a PE intern. I was very happy to be back but it's also a very tough decision to come back after so much have happened here in the past. I was so nervous on the first day and the first event (?) I had to attend was the staff meeting.Well, there were many different responses from the staffs. Some were happy to see me, some were just lost while I guess the majority are kinda shock. I got different kinds of eyes and different attitudes and I felt like I was being looked down straight away. Sometimes, I just wish they can just treat me as a totally new person and forget about everything but nah its alright. It's totally alright. Anyway, a new staff and I had to give a self intro speech. She went first and she took out a piece of speech that she prepared. Turns out she has years of experience, that explains that speech HAHA. I was so lost and I can't remember exactly what I said but I'll never forget this line that I spoke, ' I know I wasn't the best student in the past. I used to be a subtraction but I hope to be an addition now that I'm here. ' I have a very clear idea of what I meant when I talked about being an addition. I'm definitely gonna be an addition to the PE Department but my main objective was to be an addition to the student's life. My goal is to make a difference in their lives. The first few weeks were really difficult for me, somehow I was very emotional. I brought back home lots of emotions from what I see in the lives of the students. I shared with one of my leaders from Church and I got a really good response. Since day 1, there has been different teachers telling me this. ' You are a very different teacher because of who you were and what you've gone through. You have that experience most teachers don't have. Most teachers go through the normal route of being a guai kia to JC and then NIE. You are different, you know and understand the kids better with what you have. You can help them in your ways. ' I think 2-3 teachers said this to me and I'm extremely encouraged. In the past 15 weeks, there has been many different instances of people lying, skipping classes, playing with fire, disrespecting me and my instructions, scolding me with vulgar and also giving me attitude like walking away while I was talking. There's so many times I feel angry and I wish they could be well-behaved students but then I remembered I was just like them. I'm just glad no one pushed me. I also meet some people who are proud, goes through difficult relationships, families that doesn't understand the child, people who feels stress from studies. Initially, I didn't think much about it. I always just try to talk sense into people, encourage people etc. But you know, I don't think its a coincidence I meet all these people and I know about all these. When I made the pre-made decision that I'm gonna come here to make a difference, I believe God has already planned that I meet all these people. When the teachers told me I can help the kids with my experience, I guess this is what they mean. I was actually making a difference . Though there were some days, I reacted wrongly and said things I shouldn't have said..... Since my secondary school days, I grew a lot and it was because there were teachers, friends and leaders who believed in me and constantly encouraged me. These are the people who gave me an idea of who I want to become. I wanna be someone who loves and encourages the students. I guess to love and encourage there has to some sort of relationship first and this is probably where I made a mistake. I started off as super friendly and I still am. Of course, with the friendship, conversations and everything becomes a lot easier but there's a price to pay. You know when students get too comfortable with you, they totally treat you like a friend friend friend and it gets hard during lessons. This is something I learn but with 5-6 more weeks to go, I have no intention of being strict or whatsoever. I've reached the end of the post and the most important question I have to ask myself is this, ' Have I been an addition or a subtraction?' The answer is I've actually been both an addition and subtraction. Even though I've made some difference in people's lives, there was actually a lot more opportunities for me to do more, speak more but I somehow I just didn't. In terms of subtraction? I guess I am a subtraction when I have an opportunity to teach values but I didn't. Somehow, that makes students think its ok to do what they're doing. NOW THAT'S DEFINITELY AN SUBTRACTION. In the last 5 weeks, I have a more specific goal in mind. Time to make it happen. Will share about it when my intern ends!! Time to conquer :))

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